Trust in a Chaotic World of Beautiful (sometimes) Differences

We could hear birds, the surf, the wind, and various car and human sounds, we felt the soft breeze and inhaled deeply.

As we sat up, we looked around to discover that we’d been joined by three sleeping dogs, an asleep kitten and a mother hen and her chicks.

The hen had her eyes closed, and she and the chicks were sleeping not two feet from the dogs.

Our communal animal relaxation was an amazing experience on so many levels; the animals felt utterly safe; at this moment they trusted us dangerous humans, and each other, in this moment.

On the flipside, when investing in car-repairs or building supplies, one would expect to be dealt with fairly and honestly; especially when it is known that you plan to continue doing business. The honest and reliable business builds long-term relationships and long-term clients. If you cheat your clients, you tend not to get repeat business.

Sadly, we’ve learned that buying or ordering services through long-term acquaintances and friends here is far from a guarantee of honesty. Of course, this is why in the USA we use contracts and printed agreements for everything. Contracts save friendships.

Another oddity, in my opinion, is related to trust and respect:  there is a tendency for people to outright ask for gifts from your possessions. Someone will see something you have and ask for it and then be offended when your response is not positive.

“Hey! Sure! I want you to take this Boss speaker that I worked hard to earn the funds for that I use daily and cannot easily replace…” Not.

Give once, and you elicit appreciation;
Give twice, and you create anticipation;
Give three times, and you create expectation;
Give four times, and it becomes entitlement;
Give five times, and you establish dependency.

Charity disempowers people and creates dependency. I’d also argue that it creates a lack of trust at the level of entitlement. Entitlement creates a situation in which the “receivers” have the right to receive and the “givers” are obligated to give.

If you fall into a socially perceived role of “giver” than a self-identified receiver feels justified taking from you whether it’s through cheating, deception, lying, or theft. When this happens between friends and strangers, it merely results in a shortened relationship.

People chose to do business elsewhere. When it occurs amongst family, it creates feuds. I’ve seen it all in the last four months, and it’s disheartening. Why do I care? Above and beyond the fact that this lack of trust is an expensive proposition for my “Giver” family, I care because there is also a strong correlation between the poorest countries and the countries that exhibit the lowest levels of social trust.

Before a nation can build economic capital, it needs a reserve of social capital. Right now Madagascar, despite its natural beauty, the laughter, the kindness, and generosity displayed, from the office of the President to the street vendor; is functionally low on social capital.